Emotionally intelligent people use a brilliant 3-word phrase to learn, remember, and get more out of life

My family and I recently returned from an amazing four weeks of traveling across the western U.S. It’s the longest trip we’ve ever taken together, and it was unforgettable. 

In those four weeks, we visited:

• Los Angeles
• The Grand Canyon
• Red Rock Country in Sedona
• The Vermilion Cliffs
• Montezuma Castle National Monument
• Horseshoe Bend
• Peekaboo Canyon
• Zion National Park

In addition to visiting these sights, we also spent time doing volunteer work as a family, which led to some equally amazing experiences: We visited old friends, made new ones, and drew closer together.

Here’s the thing, though: This trip almost didn’t happen.

As a business owner, it can be tough to take time off from work, although, admittedly, it’s much easier than taking time off as an employee. You get the feeling that if you get off the wheel, everything is going to fall apart. That customers will stop coming, or caring. That the business will fall apart.

Deeper connections, personal growth

Then there’s the combination of bills, distractions, and other things that always threaten to get in the way.

In the end, though, my wife and I made the decision to go on this life-changing adventure. A three-word phrase helped us to do so, an emotionally intelligent decision-making framework that’s become a a slogan for our family over time:

Experiences over things.

I’ve found, by generally prioritizing experiences over things, you can learn more, remember, more, and get more out of life. Let’s take a closer look at why that’s the case, and how you can use it to your own advantage. (If you enjoy this article, consider signing up for my free emotional intelligence course.) 

How ‘experiences over things’ helps you get more out of life

First, let’s get one thing out of the way: Things are not bad. Some things are completely necessary, like having a place to live and food to eat. And other things can bring a certain amount of joy, too.

The problem is, we live in a world that’s infected with what I call more disease.

We’re surrounded by fellow business owners who speak only about growth. Why? Because it takes money to make money—so, you need to make more money. That enables you to buy more things.

But here’s the problem with that: It’s never enough. If you get infected with more disease, you’ll just always want more—and that’s a recipe for unhappiness, because you’re never satisfied. Eventually, you find yourself surrounded by more stuff than you can effectively use—and you’re still tempted to buy even more. It’s a never-ending cycle.

Now, contrast that with the value of experiences. When you do something, that experience becomes a part of you. The memories you create mold who you are as a person. It changes what you think about. How you act. The decisions you make. While the experience may be over, its effects continue.

Enjoying the journey

Now, pause for a moment and think of some of your favorite memories. Do they involve spending time with things? Or spending time with people, producing experiences? Yes, when you create experiences, this helps you to learn more, remember more, and get more out of life.

How can you prioritize experiences over things?

You can start by using that three-word slogan–”experiences over things”– to help you make decisions. As a business owner, the temptation is always there to work, work, work—so you or your family can have more things.

But, when you tell yourself to prioritize “experiences over things,” you reframe how you view the work itself. It’s not just to provide things; it’s to provide time. Time is more valuable than money or things. Because you can spend money or lose things and get them back again. But once time is gone, it’s gone forever.

If you’re interested in getting more out of life, I encourage you: Don’t buy more stuff. Do more stuff. Because the value of things always fades. But experiences last a lifetime.

— By Justin Bariso

This article originally appeared on Fast Company‘s sister publication, Inc.

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