Parody Sports

Homesick Luka Doncic Gazes Longingly At Photo Of Barren...

LOS ANGELES—In the aftermath of a stunning trade that saw the point guard move f...

Aaron Rodgers Goes On Ayahuasca Retreat In Search Of Ne...

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—In what the 41-year-old New York Jets quarterback described ...

Hush Falls Over Crowd After Bagel Tears ACL In Jumbotro...

CHICAGO—Thousands of horrified Bulls fans reportedly gasped and shuddered Tuesda...

Florida Gators Climb Ladder With Scissors To Circumcise...

SAN ANTONIO—Capping off their rousing victory in the finals with a beloved NCAA ...

Masters Crowd Whispering Its Lungs Out

The post Masters Crowd Whispering Its Lungs Out appeared first on The Onion.

Aaron Rodgers Fuming That NFL Hasn’t Added Expansion Te...

MONTCLAIR, NJ—Declaring that this was no way to treat a Super Bowl winner and fo...

Star BYU Player Suspended After Testing Positive For Co...

PROVO, UT—In a crushing blow to the team’s hopes of winning the NCAA men’s tourn...

Tiger Woods Claims That In Time He Will Fuck Everyone’s...

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Providing context after the announcement of his new relations...

JuJu Watkins Sprains Bun

LOS ANGELES—In what could prove a devastating loss for the top-seeded Big Ten te...

March Madness By The Numbers

The 2025 NCAA Division I men’s and women’s basketball tournaments kick off next ...