Buck and Eddie’s Grief Boils Over On 9-1-1, But What Did It Mean?
This has been quite the season for Buck and Eddie individually and as a unit.
Make no mistake about it: In the world of 9-1-1, Buck and Eddie are very much played as a unit, like many other characters on this show are with their respective partners.
And 9-1-1 Season 8 has really tested their bond, as we’ve seen the pair on unsteady footing more than once.
In the aftermath of a loss, the two clashed during 9-1-1 Season 8 Episode 17, bringing many of their frustrations to the surface.
But many of their frustrations in that kitchen were not about the other.
Instead, it felt like we were watching two broken people lash out and break down under the weight of their grief.
The thing about Buck and Eddie and their dynamic is that they understand each other in a way that others don’t. And they can’t hide from one another.
Think back to 9-1-1 Season 6 Episode 12 in which Buck was putting on the “I’m fine!” face to everyone in the wake of his near-death experience and coma dream, and when he hit his breaking point, Eddie was the person he turned to for comfort.
Eddie was where he knew he could be his most vulnerable, and he has always been the person to whom he has historically opened up the most.
For his part, Eddie has leaned on Buck in ways he doesn’t lean on anyone.
In some of his lowest moments, like after learning about the death of his former Army teammates, Eddie confided in Buck and opened up to him in ways we don’t always see from Eddie. He trusted Buck to help him with Christopher.
Eddie and Buck have great respect for one another, and their relationship is based on that respect, trust, and loyalty.
Bobby’s death was a tremendous loss for both men, and it’s the first time they were both dealing with the loss of someone close to them both simultaneously.
I’ve been saying this in various pieces as the weeks pass since Bobby’s on-screen death, but grief is messy. It’s unique to everyone, and there’s no right way to grieve.
Following the funeral, we saw that Buck felt isolated from the team, though maybe the better word would be detached.
When we saw him sitting alone at the table in the firehouse loft, you could see the loneliness in his eyes. And when he went to confession, he admitted to feeling the team was drifting apart to the degree that he didn’t feel like anyone needed him.
Conversely, Eddie confided in Hen and Karen about his concern for Buck. He worried that Buck was spiraling, which was an interesting statement because we, the audience, didn’t see much of this spiraling.
9-1-1 Season 8 Episode 16 had Buck going through the motions, much like everyone else, in the immediate aftermath of Bobby’s death. He was stoic but in control, and this hour, we saw him letting himself feel his emotions more and giving them voice.
Perhaps that was what Eddie meant by his spiraling. Either way, it was his perception, just like Buck had a perception that everyone was drifting away, even though we heard of him talking to the team, so how far were they actually drifting?
He was hesitant to tell Buck about the news regarding the firefighting job in El Paso, partly because of this perception that Buck wasn’t okay.
But notice how during that conversation with Hen and Karen, Eddie told them he was okay, whereas his true feelings, doubts, and fears came out later when talking to Buck, his safe space to be vulnerable and seek comfort.
Buck thought Eddie was distancing himself, and Eddie thought Buck was spiraling, when maybe they were projecting onto the other.
Tension was high when the two danced around each other in their shared kitchen. Buck immediately expressed his frustration, and things just disintegrated from there.
Hearing that Eddie had gotten a more permanent job offer in Texas through the grapevine after everything they had just endured had to be difficult for Buck.
The show has established that these two have a powerful bond, with Buck’s most recent ex even flat-out accusing Buck of having feelings for Eddie.
Buck couldn’t let any more time pass before he confronted Eddie about the perceived slight. Sure, it upset him, but he was also in the throes of anguish.
And he’s standing across from someone who’s also struggling, and has been doing so alone.
If you feel Eddie should have told Buck and not assumed his reaction, that’s your right. But it felt clear to me that Eddie was trying to protect Buck as much as he wanted to protect himself.
Eddie was coming at Buck from a place of sadness, hurt, and other emotions. He allowed himself to be honest with Buck, and it was not pretty because grief never is.
But it was real. And it was real in a way that Eddie rarely allows himself to be.
Los Angeles IS home for Eddie, and he had to be struggling with the thought of leaving it again, leaving Buck and his found family. Maybe it was through that fear that he was speaking in those moments.
When he talked about Buck making everything about himself, his words were rooted in truth, but they felt like more projection. He was trying to defend his reasons for not telling Buck about the job offer, but was he really mad at Buck for some hypothetical response he could have had?
He was angry that Bobby was dead and that he was still processing what it was like to be woken up in the middle of the night to receive such news instead of being in the thick of things alongside his family.
He’s sitting with the very real feeling of not knowing what would have happened had he been there beside Bobby, and also lamenting the fact that his relationship with Bobby wasn’t where he would have liked it to be in the weeks leading up to his death.
And he’s struggling with potentially having to leave again.
Neither Buck nor Eddie was really mad at each other; they were in pain.
When Buck apologized to Eddie, you could see Eddie break. You could see Buck’s concern and Eddie finally letting himself feel what he’d been keeping inside and would only let come out to the person he feels the most comfortable with.
Grief is one of the most awful things to endure, and it’s something that changes you.
You can distinctly remember life before you encountered a loss, and life after it.
Nobody walked away from this confrontation a winner because they were both right and wrong at various stages. That tends to happen when you’re blanketed in grief the way they were here.
Many people are picking sides, and I’m not in the business of telling people how they must feel about what they’re consuming. The beauty of television is that 50 people could watch a single scene and come away with 50 interpretations.
But one thing that some have misconstrued is the idea that Buck and Eddie aren’t friends, or this somehow taints their friendship, when we have over 100-plus episodes showcasing the strength of their bond and their appreciation and respect for one another.
Trying to use this moment to paint either as a bad friend or something else feels disingenuous when you look at what both were going through.
9-1-1 tends to gloss over things, in that we rarely see many deep, meaningful apologies on the series. Instead, we’re to assume that characters have had those conversations off-screen or that the characters didn’t deem apologies necessary.
Eddie bringing Christopher to Buck while subtly acknowledging his faults in that confrontation was a healing moment for all three of them as they move forward.
The three of them together, the Buckley-Diaz crew, were what they all needed in that moment as they worked to find a way to adjust to their new normal.
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You can watch 9-1-1 on ABC at 8/7c on Thursdays.
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