Cooper Flagg’s Agent Negotiates 10% Increase In Textbook Buyback Value At Duke Bookstore

DURHAM, NC—Threatening to have his client sit out the rest of the academic semester unless he was paid what he’s worth, Cooper Flagg’s agent Austin Brown negotiated a 10% increase Monday in textbook buyback value for the NCAA star from the Duke University bookstore. “This Intro to Psychology textbook is top-of-the-line, and we aren’t budging on this, so don’t spit in our face with this weak-ass $25 offer when you know Cooper is worth $27.50,” Brown said to an English literature grad student working part time at the bookstore, explaining that Duke must not understand the asses Flagg puts in seats if they aren’t will to accept a macroeconomics textbook that is clearly only lightly used. “I will burn your whole life down okay? I will go scorched earth. Who the hell has heard of Duke University anyway? I hear North Carolina is paying $40 for Earth: A Physical Geology. It still has the accompanying CD-ROM in the back, for Christ’s sake. This is the 2018 edition, and these babies are still crisp as the day he got them. That better become $44 real quick, or we’re walking. And at least look my client in the face while you’re trying to fuck him.” At press time, Brown had also secured Flagg a complimentary third taco and fountain drink at the Duke dining hall.

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