Fancy Feast Recalls 1 Million Cans Of Food That Cats Just Kind Of Stared At Before Wandering Away

ST. LOUIS—Apologizing to all customers who had received a defective product, pet food giant Fancy Feast issued a massive recall Friday for 1 million cans of food that cats just kind of stared at before wandering away. “Any cans of Fancy Feast Classic Paté, Grilled, or Gravy Lovers should be returned for a full refund due to an issue where cats sniff at them a few times and then leave without taking a single bite,” said a recall announcement on the company’s website, adding that cats would not even return to consume the affected cans later on, when they were meowing at their owners to indicate they were hungry. “We’ve received multiple reports that cats are giving the involved products blank, unimpressed looks despite the fact that they seemed to go nuts for the stuff just last week. Unfortunately, the problem appears to persist even after stirring in a few of those crispy salmon treats they love, since they’ll just pick out the treats and leave the rest behind.” Fancy Feast also recommended throwing out any cardboard boxes the cans had arrived in due to the risk of cats playing around in the containers instead of the enormous cat tree their owners dropped 200 bucks on.

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