The biological reason you freeze in meetings (and what you can do about it)

You know that moment when someone asks you a question in a meeting and your mind goes completely blank? Or when you’re sitting in a high-stakes presentation and you feel like you can’t move, can’t speak, can’t think? While it can feel like your mind and body are totally betraying you, what’s actually happening is that your nervous system is doing exactly what it’s designed to do when it perceives a threat.

Picture this: It’s Monday morning, you’re in the quarterly review meeting, and your boss turns to you and says, “So, walk us through what went wrong with the Johnson project.” Your heart starts pounding, your breathing gets shallow, and suddenly it’s like your brain has been wrapped in cotton wool. You know the answer—you’ve been thinking about nothing but this project for weeks—but in that moment, nothing comes out. You just sit there, frozen, while everyone stares at you.

Sound familiar?

What’s Actually Happening When You Freeze

What you just experienced is what researchers call the freeze response, and it’s one of the most misunderstood reactions our bodies have to stress. Most people have heard of fight or flight, but freeze? That’s the one we don’t talk about, even though it might be the most common response in workplace situations.

Here’s what’s happening in your body: when your brain detects what it perceives as a threat—and yes, an unexpected question from your boss absolutely counts as a threat to your nervous system—it triggers your body’s alarm system. Your amygdala, that little almond-shaped structure constantly scanning for danger, sends out a distress signal.

In that split second, your body has to decide: do I fight this threat, do I run from it, or do I freeze and hope it goes away? And here’s the thing about workplace situations: you can’t exactly punch your boss or sprint out of the conference room. So freeze it is.

Freezing looks different from fight/flight. When you freeze, your sympathetic nervous system floods your body with stress hormones, but instead of mobilizing you to fight or flee, these chemicals essentially hit the pause button (parasympathetic “override”). Your muscles tense up, your breathing becomes shallow, and most critically, the blood flow to your prefrontal cortex—your thinking brain—gets reduced. That’s why you suddenly can’t access information you know perfectly well. It’s not that the information isn’t there; it’s that the pathways to reach it have temporarily shut down.

The Science Behind the Response

What we know from solid research is that the freeze response is characterized by reduced body movement, muscle tension, and what researchers call “tonic immobility,” basically, your body’s version of playing dead. This response evolved because sometimes, when you can’t fight and you can’t flee, your best survival strategy is to become very, very still and hope the predator loses interest.

The problem is, your nervous system doesn’t distinguish between a saber-toothed tiger and a difficult question from your manager. To your ancient brain, both represent potential threats to your survival and status within the group.

How Freeze Shows Up at Work

The freeze response can show up in all kinds of ways. Maybe you procrastinate on important projects because the thought of starting them feels overwhelming. Maybe you go silent in brainstorming sessions even though you have great ideas. Maybe you avoid networking events or skip speaking up in team meetings.

A client, James, was constantly passed over for promotions despite being technically excellent. When we dug into it, we discovered that he would freeze every time he was asked to share his opinions or defend his work. He’d shut down, give minimal responses, and essentially become invisible. His manager interpreted this as lack of engagement, when in reality, James was so overwhelmed by the perceived threat of judgment that his nervous system was protecting him by making him disappear.

What You Can Do When You Freeze

First, understand that you can’t just think your way out of a freeze response. This isn’t a cognitive problem—it’s a physiological response that requires physiological interventions.

When you notice yourself starting to freeze, the first thing you need to do is reconnect with your body. Try this: press your feet firmly into the floor. Feel the weight of your body in the chair. Take three slow, deep breaths, making your exhale longer than your inhale. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system and starts to bring you back into your body.

Another technique that works incredibly well is what I call the grounding catalog. When you feel yourself freezing, mentally note five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This forces your attention back to the present moment.

If you’re in a meeting and someone asks you a question that triggers your freeze response, buy yourself time. Say something like, “That’s a great question; let me think about that for a moment,” or “I want to make sure I give you a thorough answer—can I come back to that in just a minute?”

Building Long-Term Resilience

The real work happens outside of the crisis moments. If you want to reduce your tendency to freeze in meetings, you need to work on increasing what researchers call your “window of tolerance,” or your capacity to handle stress without getting overwhelmed.

This means taking care of your nervous system daily. Regular exercise, adequate sleep, good nutrition, and stress management practices aren’t just nice-to-haves: they’re essential for building resilience against the freeze response.

It also means gradually exposing yourself to triggering situations in a controlled way. If speaking up in large meetings makes you freeze, practice speaking up in smaller groups first. If unexpected questions are your trigger, practice impromptu speaking with trusted colleagues.

Preparation That Actually Works

When you know you’re going into a potentially triggering situation, prepare your nervous system, not just your content. Before a challenging meeting, take a few minutes to do some breathing exercises or light stretching. Visualize yourself staying calm and grounded. Remind yourself that you belong in that room and that your perspective has value.

Breaking the Shame Cycle

When you freeze in a meeting, resist the urge to spend the rest of the day beating yourself up about it. This shame response actually makes you more likely to freeze in the future because now you’re dealing with both the original trigger and the fear of freezing again.

Practice self-compassion. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a good friend who was struggling. Remind yourself that freeze responses are normal, human, and actually quite common.

Your Next Steps

Your freeze response in meetings isn’t evidence that you don’t belong in leadership. It’s evidence that you have a nervous system that’s trying to protect you, sometimes in ways that aren’t helpful in modern workplace situations.

The goal isn’t to never freeze again—that’s not realistic. The goal is to understand what’s happening, develop tools to work with your freeze response, and gradually expand your capacity to handle challenging situations.

Start small. Pick one low-stakes situation this week where you can practice staying present when you feel the freeze response starting. Practice your grounding techniques. Give yourself permission to take up space. Remember that every time you interrupt the freeze response, you’re literally rewiring your nervous system.