Trump Orders His Face Added To The Pep Boys Logo

WASHINGTON—Insisting that he deserved a place alongside the iconic visages of the auto supply company’s founders, President Donald Trump issued an executive order Tuesday adding his face to the Pep Boys logo. “After all my tremendous work on behalf of American car owners, many have said that I should have my image up there with Manny, Moe, and Jack,” Trump told reporters during a press briefing at the White House, adding that any symbol of America’s best deals on towing, tires, and car batteries was incomplete without him. “No one has done more to offer Americans brake repair and tire alignment services at affordable prices than I have. In fact, they should probably put me in the middle of the logo. There’s room. They can get rid of the one with the glasses if they have to. It’s time to update the Pep Boys logo for the modern day and recognize my achievements as the greatest automotive aftermarket service provider this country has ever seen.” At press time, a group of automotive service historians issued a statement condemning the change and casting Trump’s actions as the dangerous whims of an American Bibendum.

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