Study: Majority Of Billionaires Consider Selves  Middle Class

ST. PAUL, MN—In a comprehensive new survey of how the wealthy view their socioeconomic status, a study published this week in the Journal Of Economic Perspectives found that the majority of billionaires consider themselves to be middle class.

The study—which collected responses from 865 of the richest Americans, including Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, Alice Walton, and Michael Bloomberg—reports that 70% of individuals with $1 billion or more in assets said they belong to moderate-income households. Of those, around a third acknowledged that as a result of their hard work, they may now be doing well enough to qualify as upper middle class.

“The billionaires we surveyed spoke a great deal of the challenges they face just keeping up with all their bills,” said study co-author Simon Mendoza, who observed that while economic data suggests the wealthiest 0.0001% are doing better now than at any point in U.S. history, most do not feel this is reflected in their personal experience. “Many described themselves as simple small business owners who, for example, are often forced to lay off hundreds or even thousands of employees just to keep the lights on in all their vacation homes.”

He added, “Others cited structural disadvantages, such as supply constraints that continue to squeeze some billionaires out of private island ownership.”

Among the typical middle-class concerns shared by those who participated in the study was the increasing cost of putting kids through college. Many billionaires complained that a donation of a few million dollars was no longer sufficient to guarantee acceptance to elite universities, which now expect parents to subsidize a new research facility, performing arts center, or library before agreeing to admit their academically unqualified children.

Billionaires who perceived themselves as middle class also expressed anger over healthcare expenses, lamenting in particular the skyrocketing price of on-call concierge physicians, routine full-body MRIs, anti-aging stem-cell therapies, jawline surgery, and continuous infusions of blood from a healthy young person.

“A million dollars doesn’t go as far as it used to, that’s for sure,” said survey respondent and candy magnate John Mars, 89, who told researchers that, despite working his entire life to inherit a fortune now worth more than $40 billion, he worried about what he would leave behind for his own children. “The cost of lobbying members of Congress so I can avoid paying taxes has gone through the roof. And elections are getting more expensive all the time. I spent the best years of my life trying to repeal the estate tax, and I still have nothing to show for it.”

“Like most Americans, I’d prefer to leave this world knowing I provided each of my kids with an 11-figure inheritance,” Mars continued. “Unfortunately, that dream may be out of reach for me.”

Inflation, one of the biggest worries facing the middle class, was mentioned frequently by the study’s billionaire participants.

“Have you gone to a chain supermarket lately and seen how expensive it is to buy a controlling stake in the place?” said Jeff Bezos, who purchased Whole Foods when he was CEO of Amazon and, in his survey response, described his struggles living dividend check to dividend check. “With the economy like this, you have to ask yourself if you should be opening up your own Michelin-starred restaurant downtown or eating more meals at home cooked by private chefs.”

“Lucky for me, I’m just an ordinary guy with pretty basic tastes,” Bezos added. “Hell, I still drive the same old limited-edition Lambor-ghini Veneno Roadster I bought for $5 million back in 2014!”

The post Study: Majority Of Billionaires Consider Selves  Middle Class appeared first on The Onion.