Are you a boss who misses being part of the team? Here’s how to handle it

Business is a team sport, and it’s nice to have the camaraderie of laughing, grinding toward deadlines, and even gossiping with your teammates. But when you’re the boss, you’re not just one of the crew—even if you’d like the easy camaraderie shared among people who aren’t calling the shots. What happens when layoffs are approaching, or the company is facing budget cuts? 

You may feel lonely—you know what’s coming but lack peers to confide in or commiserate with. Then there are the everyday stressors that come with leadership, like giving feedback or telling someone they won’t be getting the promotion. It can be lonely at the top. If you miss being part of the team, here are some actions you can take.

Accept your position and the restrictions that come with it

As a leader, there are many things you won’t be able to share with the folks on your team—and that’s just the way it is. For example, you may feel jealousy when you see them laughing and having a good time while you’re stuck doing the budgeting. 

Don’t fight these feelings; acknowledge them. Accept the reality that you’re the leader, and that many times you’ll have to stand alone. 

Find a trusted adviser

Even though you’re the boss, you still need someone to bounce ideas off of: you can’t live in a silo. Find a person who shares your philosophies regarding business, leadership, and people. Establish a consistent cadence and routine for working with your adviser outside of your company. 

Note that this should be a reciprocal relationship; offer your ideas and opinions to your adviser when asked. Be someone in whom they can confide.

Find appropriate times to pop in

Just because you’re the boss doesn’t mean you can’t have any part of the day-to-day team operations. Find instances where you can pop in and be part of the team. 

Be judicious about this—for example, you probably don’t want to hop in on a meeting the team can handle on their own. An appropriate time to join the team may be when everyone is working toward a deadline and the load is intense. Otherwise, be present, but not overbearing.

You have a new team group

Even though you’re the boss, you’re not completely alone. You have new peers—other managers, or the executive leadership team. Everything evolves and changes; you can have fun with this new group, too. Look for opportunities to connect, even if you miss your old team. 

You will evolve as a leader. Being the boss can be a great new opportunity, even if you miss the camaraderie that came without that title. Instead of longing for what was, make the most of your position and forge new relationships among your peers in leadership.