The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Dakota Johnson

Dakota Johnson stars in Materialists, a new romance from director Celine Song. The Onion sat down with the actress to discuss love, ambition, and what’s next. 

The Onion: What drew you to Materialists?

Johnson: I wanted a free trip to New York City. I’d never been before. It’s cute.

The Onion: What was it like working with Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans?

Johnson: Tough. They kept getting into the trash. You can clap your hands really loudly or try a spray, but face it: If they want to get in, they’ll get in.

The Onion: Last year, you launched an online book club. What book are you reading now?

Johnson: We finished them all! We have moved on to songs. 

The Onion: How do you prepare for a typical role?

Johnson: I practice looking directly at people while simultaneously looking past them.

The Onion: What’s in your purse?

Johnson: More bangs.

The Onion: How do you deal with the accusations that you wouldn’t be where you are today if it wasn’t for your famous family?

Johnson: Whenever someone says something like that, I kill one of my parents.

The Onion: It’s been 10 years since Fifty Shades Of Grey came out. What message do you hope people took from that film?

Johnson: That sex is immoral and disgusting.

The Onion: What’s next for you?

Johnson: I’m trying to learn “walk the dog” on my yo-yo.

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