State Department Designates WNBA As Terrorist Organization

WASHINGTON—Promising to stamp out the extremist movement as well as its sympathizers, the U.S. State Department announced Thursday that the WNBA had been designated as a terrorist organization.

According to Secretary of State Marco Rubio, the organization has as many as 156 terrorists spread across 13 known cells in the United States, and several of its members can be tied directly to the notorious acts of basketball carried out last year at the Paris Olympics. Rubio confirmed the terror group also includes foreign-born nationals from countries such as Croatia, Cameroon, Brazil, and Hungary, giving it devastating reach both at home and abroad.

“Their radical anti-American ideology is centered on the empowerment of girls and women,” said Rubio, who stressed that the group’s members are easily recognizable by their signature uniform of sleeveless jerseys and nylon shorts. “The WNBA is a danger not just to this nation, but the entire globe. They won’t stop until every woman on the planet believes they can do anything they want, on the court and off.”

“The United States will defeat the WNBA,” he added. “Make no mistake: If you wage women’s basketball in America, you will be held accountable.”

Key leaders of the terrorist organization were identified as A’ja Wilson, 28, of Paradise, NV; Arike Ogunbowale, 28, of Arlington, TX; Angel Reese, 22, of Chicago; and Caitlin Clark, 23, last seen in Indianapolis. In addition, the FBI named 42-year-old Diana Taurasi as a senior ranking member who is believed to have helped lead the organization for 20 years, but whose current whereabouts are unknown.

FBI director Kash Patel said his agency’s Counterterrorism Division has been monitoring the WNBA’s associates and activities for decades. He shared footage from a video intercepted by U.S. intelligence officers that shows the fundamentalist group’s members at a training camp where they appear to be running drills and shooting.

“These are strong, incredibly skilled individuals capable of staying coolheaded under intense, high-pressure situations,” said Patel, who told reporters that many of the terrorists have trained overseas in Europe. “Don’t underestimate these zealots. From watching tape of them at work, I can tell you they’re ruthless, highly coordinated, and hell-bent on advancing the goals of the WNBA.”

A poll conducted by the Pew Research Center found that 56% of Americans considered the WNBA a critical threat to the United States.

“Their demands for equality and respect are absolutely chilling,” said 38-year-old Madeline Hagan, a mother and sales executive from Naples, FL, and one of the many poll respondents who described themselves as “very worried” by the threat of women’s basketball. “I have young daughters. I don’t want them being radicalized. Who knows what kinds of barriers WNBA leaders could be planning to destroy?”

Patel emphasized that although the group has been emboldened in recent years and their number of fanatical supporters is rapidly growing, federal agents would come down on WNBA abettors with “the full force of the law.” The FBI chief vowed that any person who provided “material support or resources” to the organization would be charged in accordance with the Antiterrorism and Effective Death Penalty Act, which was enacted on Apr. 24, 1996, in response to the founding of the WNBA on the same date.

“Whether they provide transportation and lodging or financial support in the form of ticket sales, merchandise sales, and brand partnerships, individuals who knowingly assist the WNBA may face up to 20 years in federal prison,” said Patel, who pointed to the Justice Department’s open case against Skims, the official underwear partner of the WNBA. “There will be zero tolerance for WNBA supporters within our great nation’s borders.”

“If you want to cheer on the disturbing acts of Chennedy Carter, you will do so from behind bars,” he added.

Rubio warned of the danger of the WNBA’s international alliances, stating that they have ties to the foreign terrorist organizations EuroLeague Women and the Women’s Chinese Basketball Association. He told reporters that one member, Brittney Griner, a 34-year-old WNBA operative first drafted by the militant organization in 2013, spent nine months in Russia in 2022.

“What could she possibly have been doing there for 293 days?” Rubio asked. “Rest assured, we will get to the bottom of it. And when we catch up to her, she’ll wish she had never come back to the United States.”

At press time, the FBI announced that it had foiled a disturbing WNBA plot to converge at arenas nationwide starting May 16, when tens of thousands of Americans were expected to be present.

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