Fun Getaway With Murderous Dictator Just What Exhausted Trump Been Needing

WASHINGTON—Hoping his upcoming meeting in Anchorage with Russian President Vladimir Putin will bring a much-needed change of pace, an exhausted President Donald Trump told reporters Thursday that a fun getaway with a murderous dictator is just what he’s been needing. “It’s been a pretty busy year, so it’ll be great to take a little summer trip where I can kick back and relax with a fellow killer,” said Trump, who added that he’s looking forward to enjoying Alaska’s majestic scenery and wildlife alongside another leader with an incalculable quantity of blood on his hands. “We can just be ourselves and have a nice talk, homicidal tyrant to homicidal tyrant. Bukele couldn’t make it because he’s too busy installing himself as dictator for life, but I bet we could get Bibi on the phone. Erdoğan and Orbán too. Oh, and maybe that guy in Cambodia. These are people who get it, you know? We can hang out and shoot the shit about killing with total impunity. It’s a beautiful thing.” Trump ended the press briefing by showing off the matching “Boys Trip 2025” T-shirts made for him and Putin to wear when they meet up.

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