FDA Recalls 3 Oranges To Prove They Can Juggle

SILVER SPRING, MD—Issuing a public warning for Americans to watch or they might miss out, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration reportedly recalled three navel oranges Wednesday to prove that they could juggle. “Toss ’em here,” said spokesperson John Lavietes, adding that American consumers who had recently purchased navel, Valencia, or blood oranges should not consume the citrus fruits but instead bring three of them to the nearest FDA office so the federal agency could show them something. “It’s been a while, but we can definitely do it. Organic, GMO, even a mandarin or tangelo should be brought to this lectern immediately. Come on, any region or distributor works. They have to be firm, though. If they’re not firm, we can’t do it.” At press time, the FDA had recalled one more orange to replace the one that had rolled under the table.

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