‘I Used To Work Here,’ Says   Pete Buttigieg, Wandering    Onto Busy Highway

TRAVERSE CITY, MI—Casually strolling from the shoulder of the road and into traffic, former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg reportedly spoke the words “I used to work here” Thursday morning as he wandered onto a busy highway near his home. “Hey guys, remember me?” Buttigieg said while flashing a grin and waving cheerfully at a bus on U.S. Route 31, where dozens of cars and trucks swerved around him, their drivers shouting expletives and honking their horns. “These are my old stomping grounds. It was the first real job I ever had, you know? These white dotted lines haven’t changed one bit. Hey, why’s everyone in such a hurry? Doesn’t anyone want to come say hi? I brought fresh gasoline!” Buttigieg was then seen crossing over to the median, where he shook a hoof and introduced himself to a large piece of bloodied roadkill. 

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