All The Changes Kristi Noem Is Making To TSA

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem has hinted that more changes are coming to TSA following the end of the agency’s shoe removal policy. Here is a selection of the new security rules coming to the nation’s airports:
Agents will personally thank white couples traveling with white children.
Mandatory ridiculing of bad driver’s license photos
Any quantity of unpasteurized milk is okay to bring through.
Muslim travelers must be placed in separate bins.
Quart-sized Ziploc bag limit for carry-on guns
Rather than walk through a body scanner, travelers may elect to simply describe their nipples in detail.
No wheelchairs.
Flotation devices injected directly into lips
Free family separation for international travelers
The post All The Changes Kristi Noem Is Making To TSA appeared first on The Onion.
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