U.S. Offers Semiconductors To China In Exchange For Holographic Charizard

WASHINGTON—Promising to lift export controls on AI chips if they received the rare first-edition trading card in return, U.S. trade negotiators reportedly offered China access to advanced semiconductors Tuesday in exchange for a holographic Charizard. “We’ll give you state-of-the-art Nvidia GPUs if you give us a PSA 10 Gem Mint holographic Charizard,” Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said to a Chinese trade representative, later explaining to reporters that the Trump administration hoped to shore up America’s complete set of the original 151 and was willing to part with its most sophisticated machine-learning processors to achieve that goal. “You definitely can’t have the chips needed to develop cutting-edge AI without giving us something better than a Blue-Eyes White Dragon, because we already have tons of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. You’ve been cheating us for years, but now we’re going to rebalance the scales and ensure that American three-ring binders are full of foil cards, full arts, and special illustration rares for generations to come.” At press time, officials confirmed bilateral trade negotiations had collapsed after the United States discovered the holographic Charizard was grossly misaligned, though China claimed it was merely an error card.

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