FEMA Chief Confused By Wind

WASHINGTON—Visibly unnerved after experiencing a slight breeze through an office window, acting head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency David Richardson reportedly became confused Thursday by the concept of wind, remarking that he didn’t understand how he could feel something that he couldn’t see. “Does anyone else feel, like, air moving across their skin?” the recently appointed interim director said to his staff, spinning around in an attempt to see where the sudden bursts of atmospheric movement had come from and wondering aloud why no one in his department was helping him find the seemingly invisible source. “It kind of feels like someone is blowing on my arm, but I don’t see a mouth anywhere. Wait, did anyone see that? My hair just moved on its own. Now those papers are flapping! This is so freaky. Quick, somebody go after it—I think it went toward the printer.” When reached for comment, Richardson told reporters he was joking and could “totally see the wind.”

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