Jeff Bezos Mugs Amazon Warehouse Worker At Gunpoint

KENOSHA, WI—After lurking in a fulfillment center parking lot until employees had finished their 12-hour shift, Amazon founder and executive chairman Jeff Bezos reportedly mugged one of his company’s warehouse workers at gunpoint Friday. “Just take out your wallet real slow and drop it into my hands—no sudden movements!” said Bezos, his face obscured behind a ski mask as he brandished a Colt pistol in the inventory handler’s face, shouting at him to quit crying and empty his pockets of any valuables. “Only $7? What the hell is this? I should blow your fucking brains out right now. At least I got your health insurance card, so you can’t use that anymore. Give me that iPhone 8, and your sneakers, too.” Reached for comment, local law enforcement confirmed a manhunt was in progress for Bezos, who is said to have fled the scene by private jet. 

The post Jeff Bezos Mugs Amazon Warehouse Worker At Gunpoint appeared first on The Onion.