Alan Dershowitz Sues Farmers Market Vendor For Refusing To Sell Him Child

WEST TISBURY, MA—Following through on his threat of legal action, civil liberties lawyer Alan Dershowitz confirmed Monday that he had filed a lawsuit against a Martha’s Vineyard farmers market vendor for refusing to sell him a child. “This is an affront to the principles of the free market,” said the 86-year-old attorney, who can be seen in a viral video of the incident being driven from the outdoor market by a large crowd after he demanded the vendor “give [him] the big one filled with cheese.” “I’ve been buying children from this farmers market for decades, and now they’re trying to tell me my dollar’s no good here? They’re discriminating against me simply because I have differing political views on age of consent laws. Don’t test me. I’ll come back to that farmers market to try to buy a child every day until she turns 18.” At press time, Dershowitz had released a list of “woke sex trafficking rings” for his supporters to boycott.

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