How to make a good apology

A recent event in my community was a reminder that most companies (and people) don’t know how to apologize—and that has repercussions. A restaurant opened nearby with the aim of serving the vegan community. Soon after opening, several patrons found out that the restaurant was using nonvegan ingredients in some of its recipes. The owners promised to fix the situation, closed for a few days for “renovations,” and then reopened. No mention was made on any of their social media channels of the incident that led to the closure.

This approach has created a breach of trust, and social media groups for vegans in this town, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this new establishment closed before long. That would be a shame, because it is hard to open a restaurant aimed at a specific community and to succeed.

I understand why the owners acted as they did. Only a small number of people found out about the problem initially, and I’m sure that they did not want to frighten the entire community by admitting that they had done something wrong. As a result, they hid the reason for their closure, fixed the problem quickly, and opened again.

Unfortunately, it is hard to keep anything a secret for long these days. News flies via email, social media, and even good old word of mouth. In addition, the restaurant was serving a small tight-knit community that cares deeply about the food that it eats. The reaction of the owners created a breach of trust.

So, what should they have done differently? Here’s a framework for making a good apology:

• You have to accept responsibility for the error—which also means specifying what the error is.
• You have to truly be sorry for what happened.
• You have to lay out the plan to ensure that this does not happen again.

Anything that deviates from this structure is likely to reduce trust (perhaps in catastrophic ways).

The first of these steps helps your audience to recognize that you know what went wrong and therefore are in a position to take steps to fix it. In the case of a company, this is important, because there are often times when something goes wrong, but nobody is entirely sure why. Was there a rogue actor? Were there inept or poorly trained employees? Was it an attempt to maximize profits at the expense of service and quality? Without a clear statement of what went wrong, people will wonder whether the problem can even be fixed.

Expressing contrition matters, because it suggests that your values are aligned with those of your customers. That statement won’t fix the problem—customers will have some concerns until you are able to rebuild trust. Expressing that you are sorry is simply the price of admission to being able to start rebuilding trust.

Discussing the steps you are taking to fix the problem is a second step toward building trust. It suggests a course of action that will ultimately solve the problem. It also provides some tangible steps you are taking that customers can potentially verify to know that you are truly working toward being better in the future.

Good apologies by companies (or people) are particularly important when the costs of the mistake are high. Those costs can be high when the consequences of the mistake are truly grave or when the customer base cares so deeply for the outcome that a violation of their trust may lead them to walk away from the business permanently.