Parody News

Pros And Cons Of Bringing Back Extinct Species

Colossal Biosciences claims it has brought back the dire wolf, a species that we...

Even Investigators Not Sure Why They Keep Releasing Det...

SANTA FE, NM—Appearing visibly giddy as they released to the public a new barrag...

DOJ Plants Gun On Maine

AUGUSTA, ME—In a stunning discovery that linked all 1.4 million residents to a g...

Obamas Show Off Vibrant Marriage By Inviting Nation To ...

WASHINGTON—In an apparent effort to tamp down on recent speculation about their ...

Study Finds Handmade Boy Marionettes Falling Behind Pee...

NEW YORK—Revealing a concerning decades-long decline in academic achievement for...

Small Town Kind Where Everyone Leaves Chastity Belts Un...

AMESVILLE, OH—Explaining that the tight-knit community was built upon a strong f...

Nation Can’t Believe It On Harvard’s Side

The post Nation Can’t Believe It On Harvard’s Side appeared first on The Onion.

Historians: Quibbling Over Exact Definition Of Concentr...

NEW HAVEN, CT—Calling such concern for linguistic precision a clear indicator of...

Parenting Experts Share Tips For Talking To Kids About ...

CHICAGO—Stressing that the delicate subject should be broached sensitively and r...

God Placed Into Deity Protection Program After Witnessi...

ARLINGTON, VA—In an effort to ensure the continued safety of the almighty being,...

Roseanne Barr’s Illiteracy Charity Snatches 100 Million...

LOS ANGELES—Thanking everyone who had helped her make the world a more unequal a...

RFK Jr. Orders Removal Of Sinks From HHS Bathrooms

WASHINGTON—As part of a sweeping overhaul of the building’s plumbing system, Rob...

Stephen A. Smith Hasn’t Ruled Out Living Cushy Life As ...

NEW YORK—Insisting he was keeping all avenues open as he explored his future, ES...

Tips For Decorating Easter Eggs

From bold color choices to intricate patterns, there are many ways to make your ...

New Clearblue Test Comes With Flight Voucher In Case Re...

WASHINGTON—In an effort to help customers living in areas with little or no acce...

Katy Perry Unaware She Already Chosen To Be Jettisoned ...

The post Katy Perry Unaware She Already Chosen To Be Jettisoned If There Emergen...